Has anyone ever felt like that? For me, I came home a long time ago. A few months to be exact. Starting sometime between Halloween and Christmas last year, I sort of fell into this funk where I really didn’t talk to anyone besides one really good friend (who I can’t imagine life without, especially during the point in time I'm bringing up now). Aside from that one person, it was basically no one. Nothing. Dada. I literally had no social life. I literally did nothing with myself besides sitting around the house (except for school, of course). And this didn’t stop until a month ago, maybe two months. I really can’t remember the exact date. I just know this "funk" lasted for about half a year, give or take. But either way, I spent a really long time to myself. And the people I didn’t talk to…well, I didn’t even give them so much as a goodbye or anything of the sort. I just disappeared off the face of the Earth for six months.

But that isn’t the sad part. Here’s the real kicker.

Fast forward to when I started talking to old friends again. I started bursting back out of my shell and getting over all of the baggage that made me collapse into myself for so long. But, it was like no one even noticed I wasn’t there. When I started to talk to my friends, they gave me the usual “Oh hey.” and go on with their conversation. And during those few months, no one even really called me, either. I mean, I didn’t turn into a pod-person for six months just to get attention when I came back. I was really dealing with some personal stuff that I haven’t spoken to anyone about. I just needed some me time. But when me time was over, well…

I was like I was never even gone at all. One friend, who I thought was really cool, isn’t even talking to me anymore because I stopped talking to him (yeah…as if he was the only one… and it’s sort of ironic. He really has no right to be angry with me because he didn’t call or leave my any messages or anything, either. It’s rather hypocritical. And annoying. And I just want to scream at him and everyone else.

I didn’t even realize it until now. I mean, it’s been a month or two after the fact. So why do I care now, all of the sudden? It’s not like I didn’t realize it before. I knew no one asked me anything. In fact, I was thankful for it. I needed that alone time and that space to think. But looking back on it now, I just feel like I’m absolutely invisible and no one can see me.

I really don’t know what to think about it. And I don’t know how I should be feeling right now at all.